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This Just In: Germany Suddenly Owes Greece $305 Billion For World War II
Or at least that’s what the Greek parliament just figured out. However, Italy also suddenly owes Greece $216 billion for its invasion in 1940, too, they said. After that you’ve got the Ottoman Empire...
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Plan B For Bankrupt
Tick tock tick tock… German Finance Minister Wolfgang Schaeuble hinted on Saturday that Berlin was preparing for a possible Greek default, drawing a parallel with the secrecy of German reunification...
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Dial M For Merkel
And something tells me there was a lot of heavy breathing during this telephone conversation, too. Greek Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras made an uncexpected telephone call to German Chancellor Angela...
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Do They Strike This Much In Greece?
European travelers have contended for weeks with the possibility that Greece’s dwindling finances might lead to empty ATMs. They should have concerned themselves instead with Germany. While cash...
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Greece Worried Eurozone Could Collapse
And Greece is willing to help. Greek prime minister Alexis Tsipras has just pointed out to Merkel, Hollande & Co. that his country, accounting for a whopping 2% of the eurozone’s economy, is now...
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Mutti Looks Mad
Some say it has something to do with Greece or something. A small majority of Germans now want Greece out of the single currency, while an overwhelming majority believe that Europe shouldn’t offer...
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Communication Breakdown
It’s always the same. Havin’ a nervous breakdown, a-drive me insane. “I’m taking a German course this summer, then I’m emigrating.”
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Gimme A G! Gimme An R!
As time ticks down for a deal, Athens and the lenders remain at odds over how far Greece is willing to bend to meet demands for austerity in exchange for funds desperately needed to avoid a default....
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Welcome To The Hotel Kalimera
You can checkout any time you like. But you can never leave. Are German tourists still welcome in crisis-battered Greece? “Definitely!” insists the travel board of Europe’s top economy, which...
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“The problem with socialism…”
is that you eventually run out of other people’s money.” Already on Saturday pictures of anxious savers queuing outside banks to withdraw money were circulating. A slow-motion bank run that had already...
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Grexit: Bad Attitude In A Can
German entrepreneur Uwe Dahlhoff has trademarked the term “Grexit” — used to refer to the possible Greek exit from the eurozone — and plans to use it to market a new vodka drink. The drink itself is...
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German Of The Day: Hand Over The Money Or I’ll Shoot!
And here you thought that Germans didn’t have a sense of humor. Galgenhumor (gallows humor), OK, but humor all the same. Public broadcaster ARD, in its Morgenmagazin breakfast show, lampooned the...
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German Of The Day: Schwitzkasten
That’s “sweat box” but actually means stranglehold. You know, like being stuck between a rock and a hard place? Is the current five-year Greek drama finally going to come to an end today? Hardly, it...
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Germans So Shocked By Greek No They Decide To Go On Big Fat Greek Vacation
Stunned by the Greek no yesterday and the end of European civilization as they know it, millions and millions of German tourists have spontaneously decided to get their minds off it all by going on...
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Greeks Apologize And To Pay Back All Debts Tomorrow
The nation of Greece said sorry to the European Union with a present of an enormous wooden horse. Left outside the European Central Bank in the dead of night, the horse has now been moved into the...
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Little Oskar Thinking Out Of The Box Again
Well known for his refreshing viewpoints, Mr. ex-SPD, ex-Left, ex-Bolshevist, ex-you-name-it Oskar Lafontaine himself has come up with a brilliant new idea to save Greece from its upcoming euro Grexit...
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Germany Defeated Yet Again
No, it wasn’t World War III. It was the Endkampf (final battle) for Bailout III. Like, don’t these people ever get tired of surrendering? Europe woke up on Monday to a lot of headlines about the...
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2 Intellectual 4 Me
Nope, this latest Spiegel cover is not what I would call “defamatory or racist.” It’s just particularly stupid. But everybody seems to be having hurt feelings about it and calling each other names...
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More German “Universalization,” Please
German policy-makers genuinely believe the harsh medicine for Greece and others is the right thing to do, he added. In some ways, Germany is “trying to universalize its own history,” Mr. Kundnani...
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